


Trust

by Incandescentflower



Category: 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい | Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (TV)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Adachi, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Episode 11, Sad Kurosawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Incandescentflower/pseuds/Incandescentflower
Summary: The working title for this was "Episode 11 Hangover." This is my processing of Episode 11.The moral of the story is don't take relationship advice from Tsuge. Take it from Fujisaki.
Relationships: Adachi Kiyoshi/Kurosawa Yuichi
Comments: 18
Kudos: 189





	Trust

Kurosawa couldn’t sleep. He kept tossing and turning, thinking about the look on Adachi’s face when he told Kurosawa that he could hear his thoughts. When he said he didn’t deserve to be with Kurosawa. The fear in his voice. The pain in his eyes.

It was extraordinary and fantastical what was happening to Adachi. He didn’t blame him for questioning whether Kurosawa would believe him. But still, knowing now that Adachi did not trust him, it hurt. Adachi had been hiding such a big part of himself from Kurosawa for so long. He must have felt absolutely alone. 

Adachi seemed to be miserable because of their relationship. Kurosawa would never want that. The thought made his heart ache. Had he been that out of touch with Adachi’s feelings the entire time they had been together?

Kurosawa had spent years with Adachi just out of reach. He could do it again, if that is what it took, to make sure Adachi was happy. He kept telling himself this over and over again as he went through the motions of getting ready for work, getting ready to face this new reality.

At the office, Kurosawa tried to focus, he tried to act normal, but he was fooling himself.

His work was disorganized, his schedule was a mess. It was the longest day of his life.

Rokkaku immediately picked up on something. “What’s wrong Kurosawa-san?”

“Nothing,” he said, quickly putting his head down and his eyes back on his work.

These distractions happened throughout the day. Adachi glanced over at him and Kurosawa was already looking back. He gravitated toward Adachi like the earth around the sun. Breaking free from his orbit felt insurmountable. 

Kurosawa made it a point to at least avoid where Adachi was physically. He clearly had caused Adachi so much turmoil, he didn’t want to add to it.

But it wasn’t a big office and despite Kurosawa doing his best to stay on top of things, his mind was scattered and he did not realize that Adachi was in the restroom when he walked inside. 

Adachi instantly greeted him and shuffled about before he asked, “How are you, Kurosawa?”

Kurosawa’s throat tightened. He wanted to tell the truth. That he had a hole in his heart. That he imagined an entire future with Adachi and in only a moment that was snatched away. That Kurosawa wished he was enough. That he wished he could make Adachi see himself the way Kurosawa saw him. That Kurosawa admired him because he cared about others enough to put their needs first and that was what Kurosawa was trying to do now.

His voice cracked when he tried to say anything so all that came out was “Fine.”

* * *

The lack of sleep was getting to him. Kurosawa first was late for a meeting. Then he made an error on a data table for a client. His mind kept wandering to what went wrong. Why Adachi didn’t trust him, why he wanted to face this huge thing he was experiencing alone. 

And the one person Kurosawa wanted to talk to about this, the one person who he had begun to rely on as his support and comfort was the one person he couldn’t talk to about it.

“Kurosawa-san?” Fujisaki’s soft voice broke through the chaos in his mind. “You have something on your vest,” she said, pointing to an amorphous, discolored spot he hadn’t noticed prior. He brushed at it briefly, but could not muster the effort to do anything more.

At the end of the day, a group decided to go out for drinks. “Kurosawa-san, come with us,” Rokkaku said. “Let’s bring Adachi-san too.”

“I can’t,” he said, hand motioning over his desk, “I have too much work.”

“Okay, next time.” Rokkaku nodded. 

“But make sure to invite Adachi,” Kurosawa said, not wanting him to be alone.

When the office was empty, Kurosawa slowly placed his head on his desk, feeling the ache wash over him, unable to move. Kurosawa typically was a person of action. If there was a problem, he worked hard to solve it. But what could he do with a problem that had no solution? What could he do when all he could think of was how much he wanted someone who did not want him? 

He fought a valiant fight, but the tears overcame him in the quiet.

* * *

Sleeping continued to be a problem. All he could see when he closed his eyes was Adachi’s smile and the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed and the bashful look he got when Kurosawa leaned in close to him.

It was easy for him to start to spiral. He wondered if he pushed Adachi into the competition when he wasn’t ready, if Adachi thought he was disappointed in him. He wondered what else he had done wrong without even realizing it. Kurosawa thought he was good at reading people, but he clearly had been all wrong about Adachi.

He took his phone, texted the Chief and rolled back over in bed.

* * *

“Something strange is going on with Kurosawa,” Rokkaku said in the cafeteria. Adachi ducked his head, but his ears perked up. He had not seen much of Kurosawa in the last few days, in fact, he had not seen him at all today. He likely was thrown off by Adachi telling him about being able to read his mind. What person wanted to be violated like that? No wonder he suggested they break up. It felt like the simplest solution. Adachi was bound to mess it up. It was better to call it off now before it all went too far. 

But if this was better, why did Adachi feel so awful?

Fujisaki had been looking over at Adachi, almost as though she was waiting for his comment in response to Rokkaku’s observation. When he gave none, she said, “He missed a meeting with a client.”

The collective gasp was enough to rattle Adachi to the core. 

“Do you think one of his parents is ill?” Urabe asked. “What else could be that severe to make him forget about a client?” 

“I don’t know,” Rokkaku said, “but he also had toothpaste on the collar of his shirt all day yesterday.”

Urabe covered his mouth in shock.

Adachi had not considered this would be Kurosawa’s reaction to their breakup. He really thought that not having him in his life would be the best for Kurosawa.

“I asked him yesterday and he said it was nothing,” Rokkaku said. “But then he called out sick today.”

Adachi’s heart leapt into his throat. Kurosawa taking a sick day was just as unusual as him missing a client meeting.

Adachi was a bundle of nerves. He got up and wandered over to the copier area, unsure what to do with this newly discovered information.

“Adachi,” Fujisaki said when she joined him. “Is everything okay?”

Adachi nodded, tugging on his jacket. 

“Are you sure? I was wondering if maybe you and Kurosawa were fighting?” She placed her hand on his arm.

 _It is okay to talk to me, Adachi. I know he loves you._

Adachi had forgotten that Fujisaki knew about Kurosawa’s feelings. It was a bit of a relief, someone else knowing. 

“We decided it was for the best if we spent some time apart,” Adachi said, trying to be delicate about the situation.

Fujisaki nodded. “Can I ask why?”

Adachi wasn’t even sure anymore. Because he didn’t deserve Kurosawa. Because he was a failure and he was sure to fail at this. Because trying and wanting and putting your heart and soul into something only to be crushed, that was devastating. 

“Because I was just so ashamed of losing the competition. I tried my best and did not succeed. I can’t...what if I try my hardest with Kurosawa and it isn’t enough?”

Fujisaki put her hand under her chin, her signal that she was giving extra consideration to something important someone had just said. 

“It's my opinion that trying is what is important. Being unsuccessful is inevitable. No one can do everything perfectly. But you will miss out on those opportunities where you will succeed, if you don’t try. Everyone in the office admired you not because we thought you were guaranteed to win, but because you were challenging yourself. You were brave.”

Brave. That is a word that Adachi had never thought anyone could use to describe him. But he was. He had been brave. He had been brave because of the support of his friends. Because of Kurosawa. How could he not be brave for him now?

The failing part of the competition did not feel as badly as the cheating. When he was working toward it, when he wanted it, it felt good. The problem was that he had also been cheating with Kurosawa all along. That felt awful.

“And what if something changes that makes everything so much harder?”

“Then you try harder, Adachi,” Fujisaki said, “if it’s worth it.”

Kurosawa had said he wanted Adachi to do whatever did not cause him pain. But the fact was, it all caused him pain. 

However, the lack of Kurosawa in his life these past few days was an exceptional kind of pain. An empty ache. It was as if his life was a dark cave where light had been bestowed, only to be suddenly and completely snuffed out. 

“But what if he doesn’t want the same thing anymore?”

“Then you’ve tried,” she said, smiling her sweet smile.

* * *

Adachi found himself at Kurosawa’s door again. His stomach dropped as the last conversation he and Kurosawa had replayed in his mind. He might be the last person Kurosawa wanted to see. Kurosawa might tell him to leave. Adachi had to be prepared to face all possibilities.

When Kurosawa opened the door, he was wearing his typically pristine work attire. He looked like he just returned home from a regular day. Adachi was confused. Had the others not said he was beside himself and had stayed home?

A painful look flashed in Kurosawa’s eyes. “Oh, Adachi, hi.” 

“Can...can I come in?” Adachi asked. Kurosawa’s brow furrowed, considering. “Just for a minute, I promise. I will say what I need to say and I can leave.”

Kurosawa nodded and opened the door. Adachi walked in, standing by the table. He had no idea what to do with his hands. He thought about putting them in his pockets, but that just made him feel too casual. He opted for folding them in front of him.

“I thought at work they said you were sick.” Adachi couldn’t help but ask. “But you look like you went somewhere?”

“Oh," Kurosawa paused. "I have a friend who has been asking me if I wanted a job at his company for a while, so I finally agreed to meet with him.”

Adachi blinked. His chest tightened. “You want to leave the company?”

“It just started to feel like maybe it’s time.” Kurosawa looked down, his usually confident posture, now uncertain. He added, “I don’t want to bother you.”

“You want to leave the company because of me?”

“I just want us both to be able to be happy.”

A day without Kurosawa at work was excruciating. The suggestion that he might never see him at his desk again, see him smile up at him from his work, see that look in his eyes, that look that no one else had ever given him before, that look that said he believed Adachi could do anything, that was heart-breaking. 

“No!” Adachi said, surprising himself at the force with which it came out. “You can’t leave.”

Kurosawa looked at him, his eyes were welling up. “Adachi, I can’t stay. Not like this. Please don’t make me.”

Make him? Kurosawa spoke like Adachi could dictate what he did. Adachi had never seen him like this, besides maybe briefly when he had been drunk all those years ago. But this wasn’t slightly tipsy, slightly insecure, slightly irresponsible Kurosawa. 

This was broken Kurosawa.

He had been listening to Kurosawa’s thoughts for weeks now and still, he had not believed it. He had not believed in how much Kurosawa felt for him. He had not truly believed his words and thoughts were sincere. Adachi had still been waiting for him to wake up, to find him out. To realize that Adachi was a fool, a fraud, a failure. 

Adachi finally understood it was not the mind-reading that had been making their relationship work. It was the two of them. The mind-reading did not matter. It had not alleviated his doubts. What did matter was trust. And trust was believing whether or not someone was reassuring you with their thoughts or their words. Trust was being brave.

“I’m sorry, Kurosawa,” Adachi said, “I should have trusted you.”

“Adachi, don’t,” Kurosawa pleaded. “Can we just leave it at this? I can’t take your apologies. It's alright. I understand that you don’t want this anymore. But the more you stand here, the more I want to be selfish. The more I want to reach out and touch you. Please, it would be a kindness if you just let me go.”

Adachi had no idea the impact his actions had had on Kurosawa. He still thought of him as strong, even-minded, giving Kurosawa. But he had feelings, he had desires, he felt pain. And from the look on his face, this pain was immense. 

“You told me you wouldn’t let me run away again,” Adachi said. “Why did you let me go?”

Kurosawa finally looked at him, face twisted in reaction to his comment. “That’s not fair, Adachi.”

“No it isn’t,” Adachi agreed. “But what if I don’t want to let you go, Kurosawa? What if I just want to be with you here with every fiber of my being? What if I want to be the brave Adachi that I can be when I am with you? Would you have me? Would you have me when I can hear your every thought?”

Kurosawa stepped forward and placed his hand on Adachi’s cheek.

_I didn’t let you go because of this. I would have you in whatever way you would let me. I love you, Adachi. Don’t you know that already?_

Adachi closed his eyes. He could feel the tears trickle down his cheeks. Kurosawa was as open to him as any other person could be, all he had to do was accept it. 

All he had to do was step forward.

It was mere inches to close the space between them, but it felt like a great divide. Adachi took in a deep breath, moved forward and kissed Kurosawa. He had no idea what he was doing, but the feeling of strangeness only lasted a moment, Adachi moving his lips gently over Kurosawa’s. Kurosawa froze and then melted into Adachi, wrapping his arms fully around him, pulling his entire body into him. 

_Is this true? Does he mean it?_

“I do,” Adachi said. “I got scared. I got scared because you mean so much to me.”

“This is going to be hard to get used to,” Kurosawa said, brushing Adachi’s hair out his face.

“Tell me about it,” Adachi agreed. “But, the thing is, I don’t want us to have to get used to it. It isn’t fair to you.” 

“Adachi, I don’t want you to be with me just to get rid of this power. I only ever want you to be with me because that is 100% what you want.”

Adachi understood this. And his motivations were hard to tease out. How could he not consider the fact that being with Kurosawa that way would solve this problem, even if it meant possibly creating others. It would be taking a step in their relationship without any fail safe way for him to understand what Kurosawa wanted. It could be setting them up for failure.

“But what happens if I no longer know what you’re thinking?”

Kurosawa frowned. “Then you ask me.”

“But I did. That day at the carnival I asked and you said it was fine.”

“And then we agreed, Adachi. We agreed that we would tell each other how we felt. I made a promise. If you want to be together, I intend to keep it. I just hope you can trust me enough to tell me these kinds of things in the future. There isn’t anything you could tell me that would change my feelings for you.”

Trust. That is what it all came down to again. That leap of faith. Putting your whole self in the hands of someone else and hoping that they handle you carefully. Was anyone as deserving of Adachi’s trust as Kurosawa? 

No, and that was the problem. Adachi still questioned his own deserving of this. That was where it went wrong. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in Kurosawa. It was that he didn’t believe in himself. But he knew he didn’t want to lose Kurosawa. He knew that if he didn’t try to manage these self-doubts they would cycle through this again. He had to make a choice. He had to decide he was going to try.

“I’m ready,” Adachi said, taking Kurosawa’s hand. “I don’t want to waste another moment.”

He led Kurosawa to his bedroom and said, “Show me, please.”

Kurosawa sat down on the bed and guided Adachi to sit beside him. He moved in close, put his hand on Adachi’s leg and leaned forward.

_Are you sure?_

“Yes.”

Adachi put his hand on Kurosawa’s leg, following Kurosawa’s lead.

_I will be gentle. We can stop anytime._

Adachi nodded.

Kurosawa began by unbuttoning his shirt. It was a slow process, every tiny button needing attention. Adachi mirrored him, starting to unbutton Kurosawa’s shirt, pausing only to completely take off his and drop it to the floor. 

Kurosawa’s body was smooth and beautiful. Adachi wondered if his skin was soft. He reached out and placed his hand flat on Kurosawa’s chest. His heart was thudding loudly. 

_Is this okay?_

“Yes,” Adachi said again, knowing that Kurosawa would likely need that consistent reassurance right now.

Kurosawa stood up and started unbuttoning his pants. Adachi followed him, standing and taking off his own. They stood together, only in their boxers, both looking at each other, both a bit hesitant.

“Can we lay down?” Kurosawa asked.

Adachi nodded again, climbing onto the bed, Kurosawa moving in close next to him. They kissed again, this time with their full bodies, their tongues moving languidly between them, their legs entangled into one another, their hips pressing against each other, a dance of discovering every possible point of contact between them. Adachi could feel Kurosawa on his forearm and on his ankle and on his stomach. He wanted to be completely wrapped up, completely consumed. 

Adachi noticed he wasn’t hearing Kurosawa’s thoughts, instead it was just the feeling of intense affection radiating off him. It made Adachi feel held and safe, completely enveloped in his love.

Kurosawa dropped his head to Adachi’s neck and sucked along the back of his ear, the nape of his neck, down, down, to his clavicle, his chest. Adachi could not catch his breath. His entire body was heaving. He needed more air to manage all the sensations he was experiencing. He needed to find ways to focus or he would completely lose all sense of self in the feeling of Kurosawa’s touch, in the emotional tidal waves coming off him, flowing into Adachi’s head. 

Kurosawa made it down to the band on Adachi’s underwear and lapped at the skin above it. He slid his finger under them and looked up. The image of him sucking on Adachi’s cock - sharp and technicolor in Adachi’s mind. 

Adachi nodded, barely able to control his own body any longer. 

Kurosawa laid down next to Adachi, his legs up by Adachi’s head, his head hovering above Adachi’s hips. He slipped Adachi’s underwear off, gliding his whole palm down Adachi’s legs, pressing against his thighs, and then around the base of his cock. Adachi was already achingly hard. Kurosawa stroked Adachi’s cock slowly from base to tip. If Kurosawa was thinking anything, Adachi couldn’t tell. The harmony of the pleasure he was experiencing was too much, taking up all the available space in his own head.

Kurosawa took the entirety of Adachi’s cock into his mouth, all the way down to the base. Adachi choked out a groan, completely lost to the sensation of Kurosawa’s lips wrapped around him. He began to suck in a steady rhythm, making Adachi’s legs quiver at the jolts of pleasure radiating out from the points of contact. He instinctively buried his fingers in Kurosawa’s hair, his hands moving with every dip of Kurosawa’s head. 

Adachi saw the image in Kurosawa’s mind of Adachi sucking his cock. Adachi wanted to make Kurosawa feel the same way he was feeling right now. He didn’t want to wait. He reached out to Kurosawa’s underwear and pulled his cock out. It was already erect, flushed red and ready for his attention. Adachi moved his hand up and down Kurosawa slowly.

Kurosawa let out a groan around Adachi’s cock, the hum of his reaction sending a tingling sensation through Adachi. The waves of pleasure were lapping at the edges, pushing up to the limits. He didn’t want to come yet. He wanted to focus on Kurosawa.

He grabbed Kurosawa’s ass and pulled him closer, Kurosawa moving easily with the coaxing, eager for Adachi’s touch.

Adachi flattened his tongue and trailed it up and down Kurosawa’s cock. Kurosawa shivered at every motion, sucking harder on Adachi in response. Adachi mouthed the head of Kurosawa’s cock with shallow kisses, taking moments to pause when it was all too much and he could not help but moan. 

They lost themselves together in one another’s bodies like this. Both licking, sucking, touching, giving each other more, more, more.

Adachi had already been close. The added stimulation built up the tension in his body. He gave over to the feeling, shaking with an orgasm that made him lose all of his senses, panting as his cock went soft in Kurosawa’s mouth, his tongue still lapping around him. 

Adachi was finally able to give Kurosawa’s cock the attention it deserves. He sucked it down deeply, pulling him to the back of his throat, moving his mouth to the rhythm of all the sweet, high noises Kurosawa made. Kurosawa began fucking into Adachi's mouth, moaning with every thrust. Adachi moved with him, using his hand that had been holding the base of Kurosawa’s cock to stroke his cock up to Adachi’s lips and back down again. He moved the rhythm faster and faster, learning quickly from what Kurosawa had done. Kurosawa grabbed at Adachi’s leg while he made a punched out noise and came, salty and warm, into Adachi’s mouth.

They both collapsed on their backs, head to foot, on Kurosawa’s bed, catching their breath. 

“Adachi?”

“Yes?” Adachi managed to get out.

“That was…” Kurosawa reached out and pressed his hand against Adachi’s thigh. Adachi laid there waiting, focused on his breathing. “You didn’t hear that, did you?”

Adachi did not. He felt so many things in the moment. Relief. Joy. Sadness. The magic had caused so many problems, but it was also a gift, albeit a temporary one.

“What did you want to tell me?” Adachi asked, now joining Kurosawa at the end of the bed. 

“That we can do that again anytime you want. I mean it. Any. Time.”

“That’s good to know,” Adachi said, leaning down to kiss Kurosawa. “Because I really liked that too.”

He curled up into Kurosawa’s shoulder. Kurosawa brushed the hair out of Adachi’s face and said, “I’m glad you told me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm over on Tumblr @ [Incandescentflower](https://incandescentflower.tumblr.com/) or Twitter @ [IncandescentFlower](https://twitter.com/flower_incandes)


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